In honor of Mother's Day, I've spent the after reflecting on some of my favorite conversations with my girls. Allow me to introduce them: Sophia, age 6, acts like she's 45, used the words "triangular prism" to describe the shape of one of her wrapped Christmas gifts, incredibly gifted with a heart for the poor, will change the world. And Carter Jane, age 3, would gold medal if defiance and manipulation were Olympic sports, can't wait to be old enough to wear a "baving soup" (bathing suit) that shows her belly button, but in spite of all this, has the most magnetic spirit and personality of any child I know. She lights up the room.
Here are the Top 10 Conversations I've had with my girls...so far:
10) CJ: I need a new Kentucky shirt cuz mine doesn't fit cuz my head's too big.
Me: Sorry. I gave you my big head when I made you.
CJ: You didn't make me! God did it with his magic. And you have to be married before you have children. And when I grow up I'm prolly gonna be really good at driving.
Me: I have no idea how we got here, but ok.
9) Me: Sophie, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Sophie: I’m going to be a pediatrician, and then on the weekends I’ll paint and sell my art work. And then on Wednesdays, I’ll do hair.
Me: What are you going to be Carter Jane?
CJ: I’m gonna be a Wal-Mart girl.
8) Sophie: I've been thinking that I could set up a voting table and have kids vote for stuff, like their favorite color or their favorite sport. And then I'll take the data and make graphs and stuff and I'll only charge $1.00 to vote.
Me: You're gonna charge a $1.00 to vote? What kind of scam you running?
Sophie: It's not about the money...it's about the people and the votes.
7) While they were playing school:
Sophie: Here, watch my kid, I've got a meeting right after school.
CJ: (at the bathroom door) SOPHIE!!!!!
Sophie: THE MEETING'S NOT OVER YET! GO AWAY!
CJ: How much longer? Like 2 minutes?
Sophie: I don't know, Carter!
CJ: Well, when are you coming to get your kid?!?!
6) Sophie: Carter, let's play like we are going on a train. I'm the conductor.
CJ: Ok, I just have to potty first.
Sophie: Well hurry, cuz the train's gonna leave.
(10 seconds later)
CJ: Momma, I didn't wipe cuz I had to hurry so I don't miss the train.
Me: Carter Jane, it's pretend!
Sophie: ALL ABOARD!
CJ: See, the train's leaving and that's why I just peed and didn't wipe
5) Me: Carter Jane, go help your sister clean up that room.
CJ: NO, I don't want to!
Me: (clinched teeth) Either you get in there and start cleaning up or you can go to timeout!
CJ: I go to timeout.
4) Sophie (screaming from her room): MOM!!!!!
Me: CARTER JANE!!
Carter Jane: I did it on purpose!
3) It's 3:00am
Sophie: Daddy, I had a bad dream...I'm scared.
Jason: Come on, get in our bed.
Now it's 3:02am
Carter Jane: Daddy, I don't "wike" the storm...I'm scared.
Jason: Carter, it's not even raining.
Sophie: Carter, did you have a bad dream about a storm?
Jason: *sigh* Sophie, make room.
2) Sophie: Do boys wear rings?
Me: Yes, Daddy wears the ring I gave him when we got married.
Sophie: Oh, because you're the boss of him?
Me: No, I'm not his boss, we are best friends.
Sophie: What do you do with each other?
Me: Well, we hug each other and help each other.
Sophie: And wrestle, too?
Me: Wait. What???!!!!
1) Sophie: I don't want to have a big booty.
Me: Well, if you eat good healthy food and exercise, you won't get a big booty.
Sophie: Oh, so you didn't do that?
Happy Mother's Day!